Last week I received a message from my cleaner. She was scheduled to clean our home later that day.

She informed me that she wouldn’t be able to make it.

Her reasoning was sound. Had it been a one-off I wouldn’t have blinked.

But the last-minute cancellations had become a recurring pattern. Month after month a major drama would land in her life which prevented her from fulfilling the agreement we had. And then a pattern of manipulation would follow.

Being a client of hers was becoming an exhausting experience. It meant I constantly had to reshuffle plans. I even began to premeditate the cancellation, and the creative stories that surrounded them.

There were plenty of warning signs to indicate that it wasn’t a reliable business relationship. But I had allowed it to continue.

I kept my faith in her. I liked her. Her cleaning work couldn’t be faulted.

We had discussed the importance of reliability on prior occasions. I emphasised my need for our relationship to be professional, and the expectation that people show up when they say they will.

I gave her full permission to respectfully decline. There would have been no hard feelings.

She reassured me that she really wanted the work and was fully committed to performing a reliable service.

I allowed her to choose the day of the week and the time that would work best for her. I agreed to a rate increase. I arranged my schedule around the agreement we made.

It turned out that all my attempts to create a sustainable business relationship were in vain. For a reason that I can only speculate on, reliability was a constant thorn.

We agreed to part ways. It was mutual. I’ve since hired a new cleaner who turned up on the date and at the time we agreed, performed a reliable service, and didn’t bring any drama.

I’m disappointed with how the relationship with my prior cleaner ended. But I already feel great relief to no longer have this stress in my life. In fact, I didn’t fully comprehend how much weight I was carrying, until I put it down.

Being candid, I should have ended this relationship months ago. It was easier for me to make accommodations for the poor service, than to take bold action.

Instead of taking the more difficult, and slightly more burdensome option, I chose to tolerate something that wasn’t working for me.

Why?

Because I misplaced trust where I knew it wasn’t warranted.

Because I created a story that finding a new cleaner would be difficult.

Because I’ve fallen into habits of tolerating behaviour that doesn’t serve me.

Because I’m inherently lazy and avoid difficult conversations.

Because I’m human. I choose to believe in people, even when reality suggests otherwise.

What are you tolerating in your life?

What do you need to eliminate, or make immediate changes to?

Commit to eradicating something that’s no longer serving you before the end of the year. Tell yourself “I’m not going to tolerate that anymore”.

When you remove the major stresses from your life, you free up time to focus on the projects and activities that are most enjoyable.

Every time I clear a stressor from my life, I make immediate and rapid progress with a project that had been unintentionally paused.

The warning lights are flashing. You know what you need to do.

And if you’re a little scared, I’ve got your back.

P.S. See you all in 2024. Make it magical.