Our daughter Maya has been taking her first steps over the past few weeks.

Every day she makes rapid progress. AND she’s still very unsteady.

She walks a few steps. She falls over. She gets up again.

Most of her falls are painless. We try to be close enough to minimise any painful crashes.

Those too, are unavoidable. Last week Maya fell face-first onto a table and cut her lip. There was blood, tears, and a massive dose of guilt.

All of this is natural. It’s the journey we have all taken from crawling to walking. There is no safe or risk-free environment to practice such a transition.

Encourage Failure

At no point do we say to Maya… “All of this walking is getting a bit scary and dangerous. You’d better stick to crawling.”

Every step she takes. Every time she falls. Every time she gets back up again. We applaud and say ‘well done’.

Even if we wanted her to slow down, she would not listen. Her nature is to grow, to try new things, to take risks. She is unstoppable.

There is not a fibre of her being that contemplates the possibility she won’t succeed, that she might get hurt, or that she might look silly by trying.

We Learn Fear

Humans are born with only two innate fears – the fear of falling, and the fear of loud noise.

These innate fears are necessary for our survival. Even at Maya’s young age, she knows not to walk over a ledge.

Every other fear is learned. Our surroundings – parents, siblings, teachers, media – teach us at a very young age to be afraid of things like the dark.

As we began to form an understanding of self, we learned to fear how we are perceived in the eyes of others. We become sensitive to ridicule.

We are taught the importance of fitting in and being accepted by our larger tribe. We are told what’s ok, and what’s not ok.

It’s a lesson delivered with good intention. Parents want to avoid their children feeling ridiculed or ostracised.

Integrating within our society is an essential devolpment step. It allows us to transition from dependent children and become functioning adults.

We Risk Less

The world we live in is harsh. People are often mean. Learning to fit-in and avoid ridicule has an unintended consequence.

Once we learn the importance of cultural acceptance, we can’t unlearn it. We go to great lengths to avoid standing out.

Australian’s refer to this behaviour as ‘Tall Poppy Syndrome’. It is used to describe a social phenomenon in which people who have achieved genuine success are resented, criticised, or attacked.

Talents and achievements distinguish successful people from their peers. So, we teach ourselves to downplay achievements, and we avoid trying anything that risks drawing attention.

It helps us to feel safe.

Perhaps the biggest consequence of this phenomenon is – as a result – we play small with our lives. Our natural instincts to grow, to try new things, and to take risks are suppressed.

We dare not tell anyone about our wildest dreams. We keep them locked away. We secretly hope that we can one day make them true without anyone noticing, and without any discomfort.

Years ago I was coaching a wonderful young lady who was terrified to launch her business for fear of what people might think. She was even more afraid of becoming successful.

Rarely do I ever work with a client who hasn’t mastered the self taught skill of risk avoidance. My job is to encourage them to highlight their successes and to new try things that feel scary.

Fall Down Often

It’s time to explore taking more risks with your life.

It’s time to practice falling down more, and not being afraid to get back up and try again.

It’s time to let go of the fears you have learned, and let go of the beliefs that no longer serve you.

It’s time to tell yourself that you can accomplish all your wildest dreams and so much more.

All you need to do is try something new, be willing to fall down, and be brave enough to get back up again and again and again.

Are you willing?